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I knew anyone who went to school for as long as James Franco had was probably just enough of a jerk to imagine that everyone he came in contact with was the stupidest person in the world. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is,” I said, even though I did. “Gus Van Zandt once sat in that chair,” he said. Then he said, “I’m sorry, it’s just that the intersection of the banal commercial world with narratives about inner peace triggers a conditioned, sentimental response in me that produces something like actual feelings.” But deep conditioning my hair is one of the ways I find my center.” He said, “Have you ever thought about all the time you spend deep conditioning your hair? Have you ever thought about how the expectations that society places on you as a celebrity and how you exploit yourself by responding to them?”
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He looked so serious, like he had just finished reading 1000 books and had to read 1000 more or he was never going to get to watch TV again. He was kind of good looking I guess but there was something about his face. “Uh, because it has a lot of split ends from being so color treated and all the extensions that I have used over the last few years, being an actress who cares about my craft, the way that Chateau Marmont flower-tenders care about flowers.” He said it in this really challenging way, like deep conditioning your hair was against the law. In fact at first I thought it was this guy who worked at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Beverly and I was like what is he doing here? “Hey,” he said.Īs I got closer I saw that it was that actor who always wants people to think that he’s smart but I still couldn’t remember his name. So I was just walking around inhaling the scent of night blooming jasmine and my deep conditioning pack when one of the bungalow doors opened. Afterwards I had taken a leisurely shower and then put a deep conditioning pack on my hair.
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I had just taken a swim in the pool where, per the advice of several therapists, I had taken some time to imagine that I was one of any number of various sea creatures. I will say that I do like the Chateau because there are lots of beautiful flowers tended by people who care as deeply about tending flowers as I do about my passion, starring in films. Some people like to go on and on about what it represents to them and all the stuff they did there, but I’m just going to stick with calling it a hotel, because on Long Island we like to keep it simple. I was wandering around the Chateau Marmont, which is a hotel. I actually never even really drank that much, and as I told Oprah, I only did coke 10-15 times, so statistically, the chances are good I was not wasted when this happened.